After my epic fail last night at gray rock, a very smart lady pointed out what had happened right in front of me. I didn’t see it until she pointed it out. Now I feel like a heel for losing my temper.
Controlled chaos. Mister knew exactly what he was doing when he took over three hours to decide what he wanted for dinner. He knows that our daughter has a routine. He knows that I have a routine to ensure that her routine goes smoothly. He threw a monkey wrench in it, which caused tension but didn’t get a big enough emotional response from me. He got the response he was looking for when he went after the kittens.
In my friend’s words, “No routine. No regularity. No respect. Not even for himself.”
Bam! He got me. Again.
This very smart lady pointed out that it wasn’t about dinner or the kittens. It was about him being able to control the chaos he was creating. He was able to manipulate my emotions just enough to make him feel powerful. He got his fuel.
Today he is happy.
That’s how these people operate, isn’t it. They manipulate a situation until you look like a crazy person. When you react in a way that it outside of your normal character, they can say that you are abusing them. They can point out to other people how crazy you are and even convince you that there truly is something wrong with you.
It’s called ‘crazy making’ and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Now I’m kicking myself. I feel like an idiot.
Another lesson learned. He can eat soup tonight.