By now, we all know that Steve Stephens murdered Robert Godwin Sr. in cold blood on Easter Sunday. Stick with me…. this may surprise you if you haven’t drawn the same parallel.
I, like many people, saw the story break and wanted to read about what had happened and why. I clicked a link that I thought had an article about the shooting but instead, the link took me to the three videos that Steve Stephens had posted that day before facebook removed his account.
I can’t un-see that. My heart breaks for this man and his family and friends. I saw something else though. Something that angered me to the point of feeling nauseous. I saw an innocent person, suddenly blindsided by a sociopathic narcissist. Or perhaps, Stephens is a psychopath. They are similar creatures.
In the two other videos, one before the shooting and one after, Stephens explains why he is driving around killing innocent people. He said that we can all blame his girlfriend who broke up with him. We can also blame his Mother for raising a monster. Do you see it? He takes no responsibility for his own choices and actions. He blames others. Just like the disordered people in our own lives blame us.
Mister blamed me for one of his affairs. He said that if my stomach had been flatter, he never would have cheated. The problem with that statement is two-fold. One: She was twice my size and definitely out of shape. Two: He didn’t take responsibility for his choice to cheat. It was his choice. He blame-shifted rather than apologize for his actions. Stephens blame-shifted as well. He kills because his girlfriend left him and his Mother raised a monster. I don’t like how close to home this is hitting.
Stephens claimed in his third video that he had killed thirteen people in the months leading up to Easter. He went so far as to give the locations of the bodies. Police have found no bodies as of yet. Could this be grandiosity? Wanting the world to believe that he is a powerful killer who has gotten away with it until now?
Mister also has grandiose fantasies. To hear him tell it, he alone is the best in the nation at historic restoration. Everyone else is incompetent. He is constantly having to teach other men how to do the job right and go back and re-do their work so it is perfect. He claims that he has won awards and has been honored by various Mayors and had articles written about him in various newspapers. I have been married to him for 22 years now and have never seen any of this. When I have asked why or have asked to see his awards or read the articles, he says that he “Doesn’t want to brag. He needs to stay humble.” Does any of it sound humble to you? Me neither.
Stephens posted these videos to social media because he wanted the world to look at him. Watch him. See him as powerful yet wounded. He wanted people to agree that it wasn’t his fault.
He took phone calls during all of this filming, telling his friends that this was also their fault for not giving his problems the same importance as they gave their own. Have you heard that before? I have.
Mister wants his problems and perceived problems to be front and center in my world, especially when I am dealing with my own problems. My problems take the focus off of him and he will act out to put the attention back on himself. Just like how Stephens wanted everyone to put him front and center.
Just as all of these types of people do, Stephens happened upon someone who he viewed as too weak to fight back and then he blindsided Mr. Godwin. Just. Because. He. Could.
This horrific crime draws too many parallels in my own life. I don’t know that Mister would kill me. I don’t know that he wouldn’t.
What I do know, is Robert Godwin’s last day on earth lit a fire under me. There is a deep nagging feeling that I have yet to identify but one that I am paying close attention to as it surfaces.
If you are wearing the same shoes that I am, I hope that you are paying attention too.
Rest well, Mr. Godwin. May your soul be blessed.